So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
