we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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