I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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