dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
