You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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