just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i dont even know how to be here
she peed on how many people?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
