i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
