Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
