if you like me you must not know who I am
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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