So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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