I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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