just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wish i was in the wii world.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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