Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
