You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
