I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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