she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
