Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
