Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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