Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
