i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
