I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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