hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
being pregnant is like rehab
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
