I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you will always have a special place in my vag
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
