I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I died a long time ago.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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