Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
