both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
