I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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