is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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