we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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