i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
