just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
