I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
