Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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