So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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