nut hugger
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
