He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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