i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
