so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
