I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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