still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
