5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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