Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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