I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
