I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
