Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
