Having a random hookup so left but love u
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
