why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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