he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
