Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
