I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
