so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Houston, we have a blender
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
